Bloody reality shocks women in war

[Yalmuk]

Bloody reality shocks women in war

By ANNIE FERNANDEZ -- Sun Media



KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN -- "The moment of truth came on a day when I came home from the hospital after a death. When I saw injured men barely patched up but ready to rejoin the battle as if their own families had been attacked."

Maj. Cynda Lavoie heads up the repatriation of the dead and injured soldiers, in addition to seeing to the well-being of the troops, here in Kandahar.

"Two military spouses I work with in Petawawa are now widows. Nothing will be easy upon their return," confides the Quebec City native.

According to most soldiers Sun Media has met in the last few days, the time for peace missions is past.

"Canadian soldiers have been peacekeepers for such a long time. I was utterly shocked when I arrived in Kandahar. Here, it's war," confirms Capt. Helene Tanguay, a Quebecer based in Kingston.

After 24 years in the Canadian Forces, Tanguay has seen her share of missions -- in Haiti and elsewhere -- but never one like this.

Tanguay is an allowance officer. Everything that has to do with money is assigned to her care, from operations budgets to the estates of soldiers killed in action.

"I have to go to the front to deal with money issues and see my satellite cashiers," says the mother of two daughters, aged 6 and 10. "We no longer train the same way. I can tell you that we've been converted."

The death toll is distressing -- 17 dead and 93 injured since August 21, which marked the second rotation of Canadian troops. Overall, 42 Canadian soldiers and one diplomat have died since the beginning of the military mission.

A good many soldiers we met in Kandahar have a hard time stopping themselves from computing all of that. Based on their calculations, with one soldier dying every three or four days, the toll at the time of the next rotation may very well be at least 50, they say, a bit embarrassed at predicting such a scenario.

Regardless, all of the men and women here are proud to do their duty.

"I never thought I'd be here now. I was only scheduled to arrive in 2007, but we were short-staffed. To think that at the same time last year, I was on maternity leave," exclaims Lavoie, mother of Elaina, 6, and Briana, 2.

"You need a solid and well-organized relationship," notes Lavoie.

"I must say that when both spouses are in the military, there are less break-ups at the end of a mission.

"My hubby knows what I do; he understands when I experience some downs," adds Tanguay, who's also married to a military man.

All the same, missing their loved ones still has its impact, especially when they reflect on the six months spent without seeing their children.

"Fortunately, time does fly by. We're really busy. That's a good thing," agrees Lavoie, with a touch of restrained emotion.